“You Just Ask”
How Kathy Doyle mobilizes the generosity of a parish community
By Rich Reece / Pictures by EW Photography
Kathy Doyle, Director of Social Ministries for St. Brendan the Navigator Parish in Shallotte, opens the door of a room off the foyer of the church. Inside, seven women are happily knitting and crocheting blankets and baby garments for the poor. For a moment, in that room, a visitor can feel the peace that comes with generous action. You can sense the same spirit – serenity combined with purpose -- in St. Brendan’s food pantry, where “Loaves and Fishes” volunteers move efficiently about, filling sacks with groceries for needy families.
As she talks about the various social outreach ministries at St. Brendan, Kathy’s enthusiasm for her work is apparent. Originally from Philadelphia, she and her husband went to the same grade school and were married in that parish. When the couple retired to Little River, SC, just across the border, they became St. Brendan parishioners. Kathy had completed a degree in Gerontology and was working at Coastal Carolina University when she was asked by the then pastor to coordinate social ministries for the parish. Her familiarity with seniors was a plus: Almost two-thirds of St. Brendan’s members are over 55. Most of these are retirees who have arrived in the area from points north.
Not surprisingly, many of the ministries Kathy coordinates involve the elderly. A bereavement group meets monthly to console and to help with funeral planning. Twice a month, volunteers bring the “Brown Baggers,” homebound seniors, to the parish for lunch, dessert and Bingo. There are regular visitors to one of the two nursing homes in the area, hospice volunteers who do respite and shopping for caregivers. The St. Joseph Society works with Brunswick County Senior Resources to do home repairs for the elderly. This year Parish Lenten Almsgiving project, christened “Home ‘Safe’ Home,” recounted true stories of the kind of dilemmas faced by the elderly poor and addressed by the St. Joseph Society:
The hot water heater breaks; you buy a new one but you can’t afford a plumber to install it, so you go without hot water for three months.
A Category 1 hurricane rips some shingles off your roof. A roofing contractor is more than you can afford, so rain ruins rugs, ceilings and walls.
You are given an oil-filled electric space heater during a cold snap, but it blows a fuse each time it’s turned on. An electrician is too expensive.
The generosity of St. Brendan parishioners extends to all, however. The parish-supported Loaves and Fishes pantry has some 80 volunteers who do the tasks necessary to feed poor families in the area. “We got away from collecting canned goods and staples,” Kathy explains, “to asking for monetary donations, because we can buy the food much more cheaply than the donors.” In 2006, Loaves and Fishes spent $55,518 to feed more than 13,000 people, 5500 of whom were children. Volunteers from the parish also help staff the other food pantry in the area, sponsored by the Inter-Church Council.
When most North Carolinians think of Brunswick County, they think of the beach, the expensive homes along the shore and the manicured “plantations” where retirees live. But poverty is very real here, Kathy says. “You just need to travel down the dirt roads,” she says. “At one time Loaves and Fishes delivered food (Now the needy collect it at the pantry.) and the trucks would get stuck in the mud.” Last year St. Brendan assisted 190 families with electricity, rent and propane.
Kathy tells the story of a woman who was diagnosed with cancer, and lost her job because she had to go into the hospital for treatment. “We helped with her rent and her medications, and eventually she was able to go back to work. She told our volunteers, ‘You helped me in the darkest time of my life.’” Another woman, a teacher, was abandoned by her husband in June, when her wages stopped until the fall. St. Brendan took care of her rent for the summer.
Parish volunteers take lunches to Habitat for Humanity volunteers. They do gardening and landscaping, staff the parish library and gift shop, and tutor children. Last November, a group from St. Brendan traveled north, in collaboration with Catholic Charities, to help tornado victims in Riegelwood.
Kathy recalls an effort that came to be called “David’s Dream.” David was one of the children of a family from Mexico who had applied to become U.S. citizens. Years into the waiting period, he turned 18, which meant he had to reapply. Meanwhile David had been a star student in high school. His dream was to become a doctor, and he was accepted into the pre-med program at Methodist University in Fayetteville, NC. Just short of graduation, he was $3000 short of the tuition needed to finish. St. Brendan raised the money; today David is in medical school.
How does a person in Kathy Doyle’s position motivate people to share their time and talent? She lights up at the question.
“That’s the interesting part!” she says. “You just ask. And you say thank you.”
A person joining St. Brendan will receive a stewardship form listing all the various ministries of the parish in which the new member can participate. A line to which Kathy pays particular attention says “Retired from/Occupation/Talent.” She keeps a file of people organized by talent and experience.
“For example,” she says, “when the lady who tended our library moved to Florida, I had five people listed who had been school librarians or had other library backgrounds. I made one call and bingo!” The same thing happened when she needed someone to be in charge of the parish gift shop; she had four listings of people with retail management experience.
“I always ask in person,” Kathy says, “and I always try to have three people covering each job, in case someone has an emergency. And it’s amazing how people not only are happy to volunteer, but they really take ownership of their work. They come to me with wonderful stories of the people they meet in their ministries, and instead of being aware of the good work they do, they tell me, ‘Thank you for letting me do this!’”
Periodically St. Brendan says thank you to its volunteers. A recent Volunteer Appreciation Weekend included recognition by name in the parish bulletin and a wine and cheese reception after Sunday Mass. Volunteers also get free admission to the annual parish picnic.
Kathy thinks the demographic at St. Brendan is a factor in the willingness of parishioners to respond to the needs of others. “A lot of people get past 55 and they’re looking for a new life. They’ve changed location physically and they’re also ready to try something different in their lives, something outside the box.” In an issue of The Compass, a newsletter Kathy publishes to keep parishioners aware of the needs and to tell stories about the accomplishments of its social ministries, this quote appeared: “Regret for things we did can be tempered by time. It is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”
Why Give?
The biblical record and the life of Jesus clearly show that God chooses to stand with the poor. The Church, if it is to be faithful to the God of the Bible, also has to choose to be with the poor, not only by its words, but by its deeds. According to the words of Jesus in Matthew’s Gospel (Matt. 25:31-46), our eternal destiny depends on this option.
Marvin L. Krier Mich, The Challenge and Spirituality of Catholic Social Teaching
Generosity Frees Us
Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplored worlds occupied by the needs of others. Barbara Bush