since you asked…
Dear NCC: I am a cradle Catholic and was a good Catholic until I graduated high school and left home, not attending church again until I got married and had children, about 12 years later.
I graduated in the early 80's and lived a foot loose and fancy free life style once I left home. I had a very good job, job security, traveled and was enjoying life until I became pregnant at 21. I was scared to death, and I knew my family would be very disappointed, as my oldest sister did the same and her life was just a mess. I immediately got an abortion. I soon realized that I had chosen the wrong path but it was too late. I was ashamed and saddened. I promised God I would clean up my ways and I did.
Around my early 30's I came back to church full force and have embraced my Catholic upbringing whole-heartedly. The only thing I have not done is go to reconciliation. I recently was given the Catechism of the Catholic Church and it said I would be excommunicated from the Church for this act. How can I receive reconciliation if when I confess my sins I will be excommunicated? I love my faith but am scared I will no longer be wanted by the Church or my community. Is abortion is an unforgivable sin?
Dear Friend, Peace be with you!
You have grown in knowledge and in wisdom since that time when, young and fearful, you procured an abortion, without knowing what it was all about.
Last Advent many pastors blessed the wreath using a formula that includes this preamble: “Lord God, your Church joyfully awaits the coming of its Savior, who enlightens our hearts and dispels the darkness of ignorance and sin.” Not just sin but ignorance.
When he was an accomplice in the stoning of St. Stephen, the first martyr – St. Paul, who called himself the “foremost of sinner,” did not then know Christ and His Body, the Church. But after he would see the light and be subsequently purified by it, grace would overflow!
St. Paul would say in confession (in his First Epistle to St. Timothy), “I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief” (1:14).
In youth we will make decisions with important consequences – often without truth being raised up and personal mentoring being offered that would make a difference.
It was Christ who invented the parable of the Prodigal Son given us uniquely in St. Luke’s gospel (15:11-32). Despite all the other names the Biblists have given to designate this parable more accurately, “Prodigal Son” has stuck. No matter the arrogance this young man formerly manifested, the Father was on the watch for his return; he would not permit the son even to lay out all the parts of the apology that he had so carefully rehearsed, but ordered for a celebration, investing him with a ring, sandals and the finest robe. Our Savior’s example of mercy for the son “who was lost and has been found” must be ever basic in the training of confessors. Unlike the older brother, the Father was focused on the present moment of grace rather than the past.
After reading your letter, I went back to the Catechism and discovered as much instruction on Confession for confessors as for penitents: “The confessor is not the master of God’s forgiveness, but its servant…..He must pray and do penance for his penitent” (1466) “When he celebrates the sacrament of Penance, the priest is fulfilling the ministry of the Good Shepherd,…of the Good Samaritan,….of the Father [in the parable just cited]” (1465).
The Catechism does teach that “from the moment of conception…from the first moment of his existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person – among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life” (2270). Although a penalty is attached to the sin of abortion itself, as well as the use of abortifacient drugs, please be attentive to this complement in the text: “the Church does not thereby intend to restrict the scope of mercy” (2272).
The confessor may pardon the sin, lift the penalty, and apply spiritual medicine in a single life-giving action. The priest in the sacrament of Penance is “the sign and instrument of God’s merciful love for the sinner” (1465). In times past, many a confessor would send a penitent – the absolution given – away with the request, “Pray for me.” That was not a pious aphorism. He has the overwhelming responsibility to doctor souls with the love of Christ. But others in the Body of Christ build up reconciliation too.
For example, men and women in Project Rachel – that great work which ministers, by retreats and relationally in other ways, to those involved in abortion – will advance that before many (not all) can internalize God’s forgiveness, there is a need to grieve over that lost child, to offer forgiveness to those who have hurt them, and to practice mercy upon themselves. Project Rachel stands by to administer healing to lives that may have been wounded by abortion, supplementing a sacramental absolution that may have been conferred or preparing for it if it has not yet been administered.
When Jesus appeared to the apostles the night of His Resurrection, His very words, “Peace be with you!” must have resonated with hopefulness upon those who had acted out of fear on Good Friday and fled. In that same visitation, He appointed them practitioners of forgiveness, entrusting them with a great mission of mercy (John 20:21-23).
Your letter allows me the opportunity to extend that same greeting “Peace be with you!” in this glorious present moment of your life. But permit words of encouragement full of compassion to be extended from a no less accredited spokesman for the Church than the late Pope John Paul II:
“I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance.
“The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. You will come to understand that nothing is definitely lost, and you will also be able to ask forgiveness from your child, who is now living in the Lord.”
Rev. Msgr. John Williams is Pastor of St. Joseph Parish, Raleigh.
Healing After Abortion
Project Rachel Support Group – A support group will be formed in the Triangle area in early February. Project Rachel assists women and men who have been wounded by abortion and seek truth and healing. For more information go to www.projectrachelnc.org, or call 919-852-1021, or e-mail projectrachel@nc.rr.com. All contacts are strictly confidential.